I remember when...

In March of 2008, I posted this:
Many of the doctor appointments have been in regards to our precious Grace. We decided to do the Nuchal Translucency test at the beginning of this pregnancy. It is a 3 part test that gives you a pretty accurate result as to whether or not your child has Down syndrome, or Trisomy 13 or 18. I went in, gave blood, then went in a few weeks later for an ultrasound. They measure the fluid behind the baby’s neck and then combine the results to give you your risk. My blood results indicated that I had a high risk of carrying a child with Down syndrome (high HCG and low PAPPA) and the measurements behind the neck were also higher than 2mm which is another indicator. Our risk for Down syndrome went from 1/900 to 1/21. To be completely honest, we were shocked to get those results. Everyone said not to worry and that it was probably a false positive. Then I gave blood again and the results went to 1/10. When we did the anatomy scan at 19 weeks, we were told that Grace has fluid in her lung. That is another sign of Down syndrome. All along the way, the doctors had pushed us to do an amniocentesis but we did not feel comfortable risking anything. Especially because it wouldn’t do Grace any good, it would just let us know 100% if she did have Down syndrome. When the fluid was found, we were told it could also indicate that she has a viral infection and that it might be treatable. Adam and I decided right then that we would do the amnio if it would help Grace. Luckily, my mom was in town and was able to extend her trip since I wasn’t able to lift Grant for 2 days. Then the waiting game began. Luckily, Grace does not have a viral infection.

It took 2 weeks but yesterday I received a call from my doctor. Grace does have Down syndrome. So many different emotions were felt. Adam and I are so lucky that Heavenly Father trusts us enough to send us such a strong spirit. We are blessed to have such a wonderful son who will be the best big brother ever! We fully accept the opportunity that Heavenly Father has given us and we just hope that we will be able to provide Grace with everything she needs. There is no doubt in our minds that she will do more for us then we will ever be able to do for her. We love you Grace! And we love you Grant…you tell everyone now that “Gracie special” but never forget that you are, too!

In some ways it seems like just yesterday, we were standing in the doctors office after the ultrasound, thinking everything was okay, laughing, talking about how cute the baby was, then the doctor walked out and pulled us down the hall where no one could hear. It was then that she explained the possibilities of Grace having Down syndrome. She acted like it was such a horrible thing. I remember trying not to cry because I didn't want to scare Grant, and I felt selfish that I didn't want my baby to have Down syndrome. When we asked to speak to a geneticist, we were told we couldn't because they had all left for the day. I wanted answers, I wanted facts, I wanted to make it all go away. Then, I remember asking to make my appointment to determine the gender of the baby and the doctor kept saying no, and kept commenting that I would decide to terminate. I kindly explained a number of times that no matter what, I was NOT going to terminate. She just didn't get it. I cannot tell you how many times during my pregnancy, people pushed me to terminate. I know it is a personal decision, but honestly, I feel like if people are missing out on so much by terminating these precious little children. I often joke that if it were possible, I would take Grace to meet anyone considering terminating a child with Down syndrome. I am pretty sure that one second with her...her beautiful smile, the gleam in her eyes, her pure love for everyone she meets...she could change a lot of peoples minds. There is not anything to dislike about Grace. Are there hard times, sure. Is every second we spend at therapy sessions, doctor appointments, hospital stays, etc. worth it? Yes! The rewards definitely outweigh hardships. I cannot put in to words how rewarding it is to have Grace in our family. I hope one day she will understand how much she has done for me. How she has changed me. How she has taught me to live, laugh, and love. The bottom line is, she makes me a better person.